Harry Potter meets drumroll me!
by King Kazul
Summary: Harry, Hermione, Draco, and Ginny fall into a wormhole and show up in my Social Studies classroom. Read it! Rated PG-13 for some swearing.
1. The First Chapter

The Harry Potter Characters meet (drumroll) ME!

Disclaimer: I own myself. And everybody else also owns themselves. Hmmmmm, what a coincidence. Oh, but the Harry Potter characters are owned by JKR. So go ahead and sue me. I don't care.

A/N: These people are real people. But they're names are not all real names. I changed some people's names. And if someone reading this is one of the people in it, I probably didn't give you a stupid name on purpose. But I might have. So, watch your step. Unless you chose your own name. In which case, if you don't like it, too bad.

And the reason Ginny has the biggest part of all the HP characters is because JKR hasn't given her any personality, so I can invent one of my own.

Chapter 1: Social Studies 

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Padma, Parvati, Lavender, Millicent, Seamus, Dean, Fred, George, Luna, Colin, Dennis, Hannah, and Ernie, were walking down the hall. They had all been expelled from Hogwarts. Fred and George were still _at_ Hogwarts because the author of this fanfic (me: ME! Yay! My other personality: Shut up! We're trying to write a story here. The first me: pouts) namely ME, had taken a big giant eraser and erased the sixth book. Then she had erased the fifth book. She wanted to do it the opposite way but her other personality had refused. And she was aware that the sixth book hadn't been written yet, so let's pretend it _has_ shall we? So everyone in Harry's year was 14, everyone in Ginny's year was 13, and everyone in Fred and George's year were fifteen.

They had gotten expelled from Hogwarts. I know I said it already but I shall say it again. They had gotten expelled from Hogwarts. Dumbly Door said they had been 'taking things too siriusly' (Sorry, that was unfortunately necessary. And btw if anyone else objects severusly (that was also necessary) to what JKR did to Sirius in the last book I would read A Loss of Authority by Yilantri, in which they take Action against JKR. And Umbridge. And apparently Action is going to be Taken against Bellatrix, too but we won't know what until Yilantri GETS ANOTHER CHAPTER UP (GRRRRRRRRR)) So they had gotten expelled from Hogwarts. Dumbly Door had said "Ha! So I never want to see you on these grounds again! And if I do...But maybe you can come back when you lighten up a bit."

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuure." Said everyone. They were very, very happy. This was a vacation! It was so beautiful.

Suddenly, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Malfoy fell into a wormhole. They were transported to a seventh grade Social Studies classroom. They knew it was a Social Studies classroom, because they saw a Social Studies teacher. She didn't see them come in. She was busy yelling at an ugly guy with weird hair and braces.

"You're always Talking in Class!" she yelled. "If you do it again I'll give you a detention! Now take out your homework." Everyone took out their homework. Except for some people who didn't take out their homework. She went around the classroom and checked everyone's homework. Then she stopped in front of a girl with dyed maroon colored hair. "where's your homework?" she asked.

"I didn't do it." the girl (from here on to be known as Amanda.) said.

"why not?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

"I left it in the sink." said Amanda.

"The sink?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

"Yes." Said Amanda.

"Which sink?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

"the sink in the _bathroom_." Said Amanda.

"Naw, _really_?" said the boy who was sitting next to her. He also didn't have his homework out, but we'll get to that.

"WHAT BATHROOM?" asked the teacher calmly.

"The one down the hall." Said Amanda.

"Why?" asked the teacher.

"I thought it went well with the color of the sink." Amanda explained.

"Well, go get it." said the Social Studies teacher.

"Sure." said Amanda and she left.

When she came back she was soaking wet. "Hi," she said.

"What happened to you?" asked some random person in the class.

"Well," said Amanda, shooting hostile looks at the boy next to her for some reason. "my paper fell down the pipe. And as I was retrieving it _somebody_ coughNickcough turned the water on."

"Why are you looking at me?" asked the boy next to her, a.k.a Nick, and as if on cue the whole class turned to stare at him. "I was here the whole time. _You_ all know that."

"It's that split personality." said another random person, or possibly the same random person. You never know. "It'll get you every time."

"Huh?" said everybody, turning to stare at the random person.

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE PLOT?" roared King Kazul, (who, for you lazy people who never looked at the name, is the author.)

"But there is no plot." King Kazul's cat, Fudgie, reminded her.

"Well, can we at least get back to the story?" said King Kazul.

"Sure," said everyone.

So the Social Studies teacher went around and looked at more people's homework. Then she got to Nick. "where's your homework?" she asked.

"I didn't do it." said Nick. (hmm. Sound familiar?)

"Why not?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

He shrugged.

"HA!" yelled the Social Studies teacher, gleefully. "THAT"S ANOTHER DETENTION!"

"But that's the fifth detention you've given me, and it's only the fourth week of school ." said Nick.

"This is a math problem." Said a Math teacher wandering into the room. "If the Social Studies Teacher gives a detention when you don't have your homework three times, it's the fourth week of school, there are five days in a week, there was no homework the first week, and Nick has gotten five detentions, how many days has he actually _had_ his homework?" There was silence, while everyone tried to figure this out. Then some random person who wasn't as much of a numbskull as most of the people in this grade guessed, "He hasn't?"

"Absolutely correct." Said the math teacher. "Remind me to give you extra credit." Then she wandered back out.

Suddenly a weird looking girl with black hair and blue eyes appeared. (No she is not me. I am sitting in a desk in the classroom. And I have red hair. And I realize most people who have black hair_ don't_ also have blue eyes. That's one of the reasons she looks weird. And she isn't a real person. She is an OC. And she's not a Mary-Sue either.)

"Yo, Social Studies teacher." She said.

"Whaddaya want?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

"It is my unpleasant but necessary duty to inform you that there are three-well now four- (she can't count. It's that split personality, it'll get you every time) people in your classroom who not only don't belong there but also whom you have never seen before, as they don't actually exist." said the girl. (She exists for a reason, btw. The author (that's right ME) had to introduce someone to tell everybody about the HP characters. 'Cause they can't figure it out by themselves. Who don't exist for much of a reason. Except that without them this fanfic would A) be kind of pointless and B)be _very_ pointless and C) couldn't be in the Harry Potter section.)

"Oh, right," said the Social Studies. She turned to the HP characters. "Who are you?" she asked, addressing Harry.

"I'm Harry. Harry Potter." He informed her, in a superior way.

"Okay." Said the Social Studies teacher. "Hey, nice scar." She added.

"Scar? What scar?" asked Harry.

"The one on your forehead." Said the Social Studies teacher.

"I don't have a lightning shaped scar on my forehead!" Harry protested.

"If you don't have it how do you know it's lightning shaped?" wondered some random person.

Another random person handed Harry a mirror. "Shit!" he said. "The plastic surgery was completely ineffective!"

"Mwaha! MWAha! MWAHA!" Yelled some random person.

"Who _are_ you?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

"I, " said Ginny proudly standing up tall. "Am _Ginny _Weasley. I have red hair and I'm pretty sure I've got green eyes. I am a _witch._ I play seeker for my house Quidditch team, and- and this is the best part- I beat _Hermione Granger_ in exams last year."

"WOW!" said everybody. They knew who Hermione was because although they were much to lazy to read the books they had all went out and saw the movies. Which really bugs me. Because everybody thinks they're huge Harry Potter fans and THEY HAVEN'T EVEN READ THE FCKIN' BOOKS! Geez!

"And you?" said some random person. Because the Social Studies teacher talks too much. So some random person can talk too much instead.

"I'm 'Mione Granger." Said 'Mione Granger. "I'm a nerd. But I help Harry save the world. Where would we be wirhout nerds? And Ginny only beat me by .459220354215376786257367356234790126908619023674398502875021985615 of a point."

"Uh-uh." Said Ginny. "It was .459220354215376786257367356234790126908619023674398502875021985618 of a point and you know it."

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Enough!" said the Social Studies teacher. "You both have detention for talking in class."

Ginny burst into tears. "I WANT MY MOMMY!" she yelled.

"Oh, just forget about _me_." said Draco. "_I_ don't count, do I."

"We'll never forget about you, Draco," said King Kazul, dreamily.

"You're in a fanfic here, missy." Said Draco.

"So?" asked King Kazul.

"So do you _really_ want to reveal your true feelings to the world?" asked Draco.

"Yes." Said King Kazul.

"Oh okay, then." Said Draco. "Since nobody has asked who I am, I'm Draco Malfoy. And my father will hear about this!"

"Your father will here about what?" asked nick. He spelled the word hear wrong. That's because he doesn't pay attention in language arts. _And_ he forgot to capitalize the n. Shame on him! (One of my personalities: actually, King Kazul, it was in fact, _you_, who didn't capitalize the n. The other me: Shut _up_. This is a fanfic! _AND_ it's supposed to have limited self insertion. Ya know? I mean until you actually show up in the story. _Then_ it's okay. Me A: It's not _really_ self insertion. More of an A/N. Me B: It _is_ self insertion! Me A: Isn't! Me B: Is! Me A: Isn't! Me B: is! Me A...)

Ten Minutes Later 

"WoW!" said another random person. "That was a _good_ catfight."

"Gonna be hard to get the blood of the floors though," observed the Language Arts teacher. She liked words like 'gonna'.

"WHAT WILL YOUR FATHER HEAR ABOUT?" asked Nick.

"Search me." said Draco. "It was in the script. Which _you_ obviously never read."

"I try to avoid reading a.m.a.p." (As Much As Possible, Duh!) said Nick. "Watching TV is _so_ much easier. Reading takes too much use of the brain."

"Which _you _clearly don't have." quipped Amanda.

"Well I wasn't absent the day they taught reading in Kindergarten." Said Nick.

"Well, I had a doctor's appointment!" protested Amanda. "I couldn't miss that, could I?"

"Why not?"

"You know, I haven't finished checking homework." Said the Social Studies teacher.

"I'll save you the trouble." said King Kazul. "Stephanie, where's your homework?"

"It's right here!"

"Just checking. Sam, where's yours?"

The guy with the weird hair shrugged.

"That means you get a zero!" said the Social Studies teacher in a singsong voice.

Sam shrugged again. He didn't look like he cared much. He never looks like he cares much. I don't think he does care much about anything. He sits next to me in Language Arts. He's majorly annoying.

Then the bell rang. "Hey, isn't anyone gonna ask me who I am?" asked the girl with the black hair and blue eyes.

"surewhoareyou?" asked the Social Studies teacher.

"I'm Sian." Said the girl. "I'm hyperactive. I eat a lot of sugar."

"Isn't that a boys name?" asked some random person.

"NO you idiot." Said Sian. "Sean is a boys name. I am a girl."

"You don't say!"

"Can we go to lunch?" asked Sam.

"Sure." Said the Social Studies teacher. And they all went to lunch.

A/N R&R, R&R, R&R. Flames are invited, I collect them. R&RR&RR&RR&R. And the next chapter is lunch and it'll have some of my friends in it.


	2. Lots of Catfights

A/N; This is chapter 2. (Ya don't say!) read it. and review it. **this is a bribe** if you write a nice long review I will read your story.

Ships:

Hermione/Ron

Ginny/Draco Ginny/Harry Ginny/Colin. She sure gets around, doesn't she?

No slash. I don't write slash.

Lots of catfights. But no scenic violence.

Chapter 2: Lots of Catfights

"What are _we_ supposed to do? Huh? Huh? Huh?" said Hermione.

The Social Studies teacher looked thoughtful. "personally, I would go talk to the Principal." 

Draco gasped. "The _principal?_ Wha'd we ever do to get sent to the principal? What is a principal , anyway?"

"A principal is like a headmaster." said the know it all.

"Well, duh!" Said Ginny.

"Don't you duh me, young lady," said Hermione in her prefect voice. Even though she was never a prefect because the fifth book was erased, remember? If you don't remember then there's a problem.

"How dare you tell me what to do!" yelled Ginny. "My cleverness, charm, wit, and beauty far exceeds yours."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"You want to take this outside?"

"Yeah!"

Ten Minutes later 

"Y'know I'm getting the feeling that this author likes catfights." said Draco.

"Can't argue with you there mate." said Harry. "Two in one day! That's almost as good as that one time when-"

"You realize that anyone could be reading this don't you?"

"Oh, yeah. Forget it."

"I'm not sure I like catfights." said Ginny.

"Don't worry." said her boyfriend. "she'll get out of the hospital in a month or two."

"You really think so?" asked Ginny.

"Of course!"

They kissed. The only other person in the room, (the Social Studies teacher had gone to have lunch.) said "Ugh," and turned away.

"NO!" Yelled King Kazul. "MY DRACO! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE! "

Ten minutes later 

"Geez." Said Draco. "That's three. Getting a bit old, isn't it?"

"Catfights will never get old." Said Harry happily.

"HA!" said King Kazul happily. "Now no one will dare try to steal my man."

"This is America, right?" said Draco.

"Yeah! How'd you guess?"

"Then it's a free country. I don't have to be your man if I don't want." said Draco.

"Well you do want to, don't you?" asked King Kazul.

"No!"

King Kazul looked very sad. "Draco, I thought you were my friend." Then her expression brightened. "Well this is fanficland. And in fanficland fanfic authors are in charge. And I say you have to be my man."

Draco snorted. "I'm a wizard you moron."

"HA!" said King Kazul. "Your magic could never hold its own against my author powers."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Ten Minutes Later 

"I feel so left out." Said Harry.

"Why?" asked Ginny, "Have _you _ever tried having a catfight with someone with author powers?"

"No. You got a point there. But it's just so sad."

"The Social Studies teacher said we should go talk to the principal. Do you know where I can find a principal?"

"a principle?"

"No you moron, a _principal_. Geez, this generation is seriously deprived."

"Deprived of what?"

"Deprived of...I have no idea."

"Well, maybe you should figure it out."

"Maybe I should."

"Hey how long have you been going out with Malfoy?"

"Since...since I broke up with you."

"Really? How long did it take you to get together after I dumped you?"

"About... three minutes and twenty three seconds. And I dumped you, retard."

"Didn't!"

"Did."

"Didn't."

"Did."

"Didn't"

"Did."

"okay, maybe you did."

"Did- what?"

"You deaf?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Since... oh I know. Since I entered the school-wide screaming contest."

"When was that?"

"Five years ago."

"Five...geez, you weren't at school then!"

"You think I don't know that? Mom had to drive me."

"To _Hogwarts_?"

"Sure."

"Who won?"

"Who won what?"

"Geez, what's you problem, gal? The screaming contest. _Duh_!"

"Oh, _that._ We're not really sure.

"You don't _know?_ How can you not know?"

"By the time the contest ended, we were _all_ deaf. So we never figured out who won."

"I see."

"'I see,' said the blind man to his deaf wife as the cat with no legs got up and walked across the room."

"_Huh?_"

"_Naturally, _you wouldn't get it. But I really think we ought to go find a principal."

"Wait a sec," said Harry. "If the cat had no legs how did it walk across the room?And how did the blind man see? _And why was he talking to his wife if she was deaf_?"

"Harry dear." Said Ginny patiently. "Haven't you ever heard of irony?"

"No."

"Figures." grumbled Ginny.

"Dance."

"Freestyle."

"Creative solo."

"Um..."

"Er..."

"Well..."

"Well?"

"I..._don't_ know."

"Humph!" snorted Harry. "I'm _leaving_." He stomped out. Ginny shrugged and followed him.

"I'm hungry." She announced, catching up with him.

"Me, _too_."

"Let's have lunch."

"Okay!"

"Where's the cafeteria?"

"I _don't_ know."

"Let's find it."

"Okay!"

They wandered through the halls lost. Then Harry said "I know! I'll do a spell to tell us where we're going."

"Okay!"

Harry took out his wand and muttered an incantation. "_That_ way's north." he said pointing.

"And that helps us exactly _how_?"

"I don't know."

"Awwww, are you lost, children?" said a passing teacher.

"No." said Harry.

"Yes." Said Ginny.

"Oh, I get it. Boys are scared to ask for directions." Said the teacher mockingly.

"Yes, we're lost!" Harry snapped. "You got an issue with that?"

"Yup."

"Sucks to be you."

"Harry!" said Ginny. "Watch your mouth!"

"_What_?"

Ginny pointed to a small confused child walking by. "There are _children _here."

"What'choo lookin' at?" said the small confused child.

"You." said the teacher. "You got issues with that?"

"You better believe it."

"Oh, well." said the teacher. "Sucks to be you."

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" said the small confused child.

"Er...this is a school, not a mental hospital." Said Harry.

"HEY!" said the child. "I _resent _that!"

"You do that."

"WHERE'S THE STUPID CAFETERIA ALREADY?" yelled Ginny.

"Take the first left, then the first right, then the first left, then the first, second, or possibly third, right." Said the teacher cordially.

"FINALLY!" said Ginny. "Geez."

Then they found the cafeteria. A guy came up to them and said, "Hi! Are you Harry Potter?"

"No, I'm Santa Claus" said Harry sarcastically.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" said one of them. "Can you do _magic_?"

"What do _you_ think?" asked Harry.

"COOL!" yelled some other guy.

"See, watch." Said Harry. He pulled a pocket watch out of his pocket. "See watch? See watch?"

"Huh?" asked some random person.

"Er...sorry." Said Harry, mortified. Then he pointed his wand at somebody and did a banishing charm. (I don't know the incantation for a banishing charm because JKR never said it. Naughty, naughty, Jo.) Then he did a banishing charm to all the other guys. Then he disappeared onto the roof. Where all the other boys were. And they had a party and played football. Some people fell off the roof while playing football but we don't really care, right?

The girls were having a party too. They were glad the boys were gone. Because boys are evil. Especially the ones in my grade.

The teachers were mad. Parties were Not Permitted. They made everyone sit down and eat lunch. (Somehow it was the beginning of the lunch period, even though our lunches are like twenty minutes long.)

Ginny had no muggle money, so she found a nearly empty table and sat at the end of it. "HEY!" yelled a girl with red hair. "That's my seat."

Ginny lost her temper. She took out her wand and hexed the girl. It didn't work.

"Hey!" she said. "Your hair was supposed to turn green. You can't have redhair. That's my trade mark especially since I have no personality."

"It didn't work. I have author powers." explained the girl.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Ginny. "It's you isn't it? King Kazul How come I never noticed that you have red hair and no manners?"

"HI-YAH!" yelled Sian assuming an author pose. (Standing on her head.)

"because you're an idiot." Said King Kazul. "But actually I'm Cassandra now. I go to school here."

"Really?" asked Ginny. "You go to a weird school. I should have known."

"Thanks, so much. I love compliments." said Cassandra.

"Actually, that was an insult."

"Naw, _really_?"

"Yeah. Can't you tell?"

"That was _sarcasm_."

"Never heard of it."

"Really?"

"No."

"That was sarcasm, too."

"You don't say!"

"I'm ending this conversation right here. I can see it's going absolutely nowhere." Said Cassandra.

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Okay."

"Good. Glad it's all okay with you."

"Are you _really_?"

"That was sarcasm."

"Gasp!"

Suddenly three girls sat down next to them at the table. "Who's that?" asked girl with short brown hair.

"This is Ginny. Obviously."

"No, I mean the one standing on the table."

"That's Sian. She's weird."

"Not weird. Hyperactive." corrected Sian. She ran to the dictionary. "Hyperactive." She read. "more active then normal. Exhibiting hyperactivity. Now boys and girls," turns to people. "Do you see the word 'weird' anywhere?"

"Sian?" said Cassandra.

"What?"

"You're weird. Face it."

"YAY!" shouted Sian. "WEIRD! Happy, happy, joy, joy."

"Just ignore her. She'll go away." Said Cassandra.

"Sure." Said the brown haired girl. All of a sudden she jumped up and down. "Ginny Weasley?!?!?! I've heard of you. You were in the Harry Potter movies."

"The movies sucked." Said Cassandra.

"Gee thanks!" Ginny said, Peeved. (sorry. Again I had to do that.)

"Well they did! The books were good."

"BOOKS!" shouted Ginny. "Fiction or nonfiction?"

"Fiction of course."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Ginny. "I am a work of fiction! I will never be able to face the world again!" she ran and hid her head under the table. Then she sat back down. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Sure." said Cassandra. She indicated the brown haired girl. "This is Jennifer. She likes horses, and drawing cartoons."

"Hi!" said Jennifer.

Then Cassandra indicated one of the girls across the table. "This is Rilie. She's the only mature one."

"Hi!" said Rilie.

"And this is Katie. She has red hair."

"OH MY GOD THERE ARE THREE OF YOU!" yelled Ginny. "The most redheads I've ever seen at one time is...(She calculated in her head) forty-seven." Then she fainted dead away.

A/N: MWAhaHAhaHAha! WoW! That was _fun_!

R&R. If you don't I will sic the ghosts of the people who fell off the roof on you. Or I'll just make them fall of the roof on you. That'll be effective too.


End file.
